Beginning Stages of Forgiveness

Something I’ll try and get more into, that I’m not so much ashamed of anymore is that I used to be a very baneful witch.

I would cast spells on people that hurt me, manipulate people to get my way, and lie lie lie to just so that people would like me.

I add the last part in because those small things that we do throughout the day that suc kand cause confusion… are also black magic!

It’s like how conspiracy theorists always delve deep into all the corrupt things that the government is doing - well it’s not the theorists fault that the info is out there but they;re drawn to it because by nature how our government manipulates is THROUGH black magic 😉 Small scale > Big Scale

As above so below…

Anyways.

I had a huge defecit not only in how I saw myself, but how to allocate the power in my life.

A story I remember more closely was a house party with friends,

I can drink, I can drink a lot. I don’t become more fun - I usually become a lot more friendly, a bit flirty, and superrrr psychic.

Something about the alchohal takes away my inhibitions and I just can really read deep into anyone I talk to. It’s a lot like Gurdijeff before he got into Fourth way.

But I would just speak without inhibition about life and spirit, and I remember talking to one girl just about god Etc, I remember giving her a hug or whatever and leaving.

Her boyfriend, a guy I had known for years a while after approaches me at the party and is like yo uh you’re kicked out.

I’m like wait what are you even talking about?

He accuses me of like kissing/trying to kiss his girlfriend and I just become so shocked I just walk out the door, obviously just drunk and upset.

What was really weird about this whole scenario is that he ended up following me outside like looking for me, like calling his friends on the phone because I went missing.

I was sitting on the side of the road crying, embaressed, intoxicated because I went from having a fun time at a party to the low the low embaressment I thought I could never experience.

He finds me and I end up yelling at him and finding my friends.

When we left, the black magic came up.

I ( in the car WITH MY FRIENDS WHO THANKFULLY AND AMAZINGLY ARE DRIVING ME HOME) just start callinggg onto some sort of spirit or horrible things to befall him and his friend group. Just like putting everything I had into it tears and fucking all.

Now, stuff did eventually go wrong in their friend group and you could say it was magically intervention via me cursing them or they could already had been in rough water due to having high amounts of alchohal consumption in their friend group and possibly highly delusional band mates…

I held onto the resentsments against these people for a long time.

I just didnt know really what else to do, especially with being in such a state of mind where I couldn;t trust myself or other people!

I title this one foriveness because this was one of the scenarios that possibly led me on the path of learning forgiveness…

It’s because of these dark experiences in my life that I can learn that things that we can get involved in can make us question not only other choices but our own choices that we are making every day.

I eventually came to the realization that calling upon horrible things to happen to people and cursing people only ever comes back onto the person doing it too.

(lthe golden rule)

This wasn’t the exact scenario that led me to learning about forgivenss, but I learned later on that just because people do shitty things and maybe I even put myself into scenarios like this on my own time!

I just think darkness always follows you especially if you can’t really figure out how to let these things go and just let them integrate into you…

Golden Rule - Do unto others as you would onto yourself.

So even if people kick you out of a party and maybe you deserve it….dont curse them. Just aknowledge what happened, forgive yourself, maybe never talk to them.

-City